My Brain in Mayhem

So, my brain is currently being drawn into about six or seven directions, on eight or nine different plains.

The first, and most important, is homesickness versus my desire to stay in Beijing.  Coming to HBA is not the best way to see Beijing.  By the time you are done with class, (2:30 or 3:30, depending on what time you have your one on one tutorial), it's late enough that taking about an hour's worth of subway to see something interesting in Beijing seems a little scary, since you have to do it both ways and you won't have started your homework by the time you get back.  It makes weekend time that much more precious.  Indeed, I don't really feel as though I have gotten as much of a feel for Beijing as I would have liked.  Maybe my expectations were too high, given that I didn't know precisely what I was getting myself into--both work-wise and size-wise.  Beijing is massive.  I remember in senior year of high school when we were discussing the capitals of China and Japan.  My teacher said that, unlike European capitals, which just kinda sprung up, when you go to Beijing, you know it is the capital of an immense empire.  She wasn't wrong.

For the first time since I was sixteen, I am feeling homesick.  I don't think that I am necessarily homesick for the space of home; living in the Conference Center is as much like living in a dorm as, well, living in a dorm.  I miss desperately the relaxation and down time of home.  I miss my cats.  I miss being able to watch TV without having to think too hard about language.  I miss being able to drift out into the living room and see my mom playing spider solitaire, or the dining room and see my dad sitting at the table with about twelve piles of paper around him.  I miss sleeping until I want to wake up, and I miss being able to give friends phone calls without having to worry about what time zone they are in.

So far, I guess my homesickness is winning, since I am leaving in just a little over a week and the anticipation is running hot through my veins.  But I know that I will miss Beijing when I am gone.

The second thing is linguistic confusion.

Dear Chinese,

I speak French.  You and French both like to use "de" and "le" in very important grammatical ways.  Therefore, sometimes I accidentally speak using French grammar rules.  Don't take it too hard.  I'm working on it as best I can.  Be patient.

Thanks,
Celia

Dear French,

I love you.  You and I get along very well.  I miss you terribly.  But will you please back down while I'm trying to learn Chinese?  The other day, I made up a word (treng--halfway between "trainer" (French: to drag along) and "reng" (Chinese: throw out)) because you won't leave Chinese alone.  Kindly play better with other children.

Gros bisous,
Celia

Dear English,

One week, and then I can speak you freely again.  I know you can't wait, but can you please leave Chinese alone.  Honestly, it's getting a pretty bad beating from French, and it doesn't need you invading during our new dialogue class.

Please apologize to Chinese,
Celia

P.S.  Can you please remember that when I am using you in emails, unlike Chinese, typing you phonetically is a bad plan?  It makes me look like a 12-year-old who is too in love with LOLspeak, and, while I'm ok with that sometimes, I usually like to choose when I write in LOLspeak.  I shouldn't have to tell you this.



This post is already getting pretty long, so I will leave out the other, lesser conflicts.
Time to study for tomorrow's test.